In college, I weighed about the same amount as I do now, give or take a few lbs, maybe 5, when I graduated. It's funny how your body image changes as you get older. When I got pregnant, I remember being sad that I'd lose my flat tummy (not while I was pregnant, after I gave birth). Here's a pic of me (I'm actually pregnant here!)
And then here's a pic of my tummy the day after I gave birth. (That always amazed me- all that worry for nothing.) I didn't get a single stretch mark.
And here's my tummy today.
But the point of this isn't to discuss abs- it's because I'm amazed that someone from college thinks I was so much heavier back then. I know a body type can shift, but still, I don't really see myself all the differently, how could others?
Which has me thinking about now- am I one of those people with a skewed body image? I used to think when I was in high school that if I just lost enough weight, my butt would get smaller. Of course I know now that if I weighed 20 lbs, 15 of it would be my butt.
I remember going on a starvation diet- I would drink only diet coke for days on end, maybe some cucumber slices. It worked. I weighed about 30 lbs less than I do right now. I could finally fit into my "skinny" sister's jeans. But my butt was still big, and being a young high school girl, that's all I could judge.
I remember the day I ended my starvation diet. I was doing the diet coke thing, cucumbers, and some microwave popcorn occasionally. I was running on the track team, lifting, and had a weight loss bet going with some guys on the team. (Incidently, I was bench pressing 155 lbs- whoa!) I remember weighing myself in the weight room- wow, I had lost a lot. One person told me I looked sick, but I didn't listen.
Finally, my skinny sister (who was also abstaining from food) and I went to a diner. I had an iceberg lettuce salad, extra cucumbers, and then I splurged- thousand island dressing. And it was all over. My appetite came back with a vengence, and I gained weight again.
I had never had trouble getting guys while I was "heavy" or "skinny", and I can honestly say I've never disliked myself. I guess I was experimenting. But I find myself now wondering- should I lose some weight? By height/weight charts, yes, a little. But, I'm a size 10 now, smaller than the average american woman (who is a size 14!), so do I stay where I am? Or listen to my friend Marc who says I'm too skinny? (Maybe he just likes 'em big!)
I'd love to hear any honest opinions- this is not about, "You're fine just the way you are". This is about realistically, am I carrying too much fat?