Thursday, January 24, 2008

so much on my mind

Even time I look at art, I feel like I just want to spend all day every day creating things. I haven't yet found a medium to which I'd like to exclusively subscribe. What a weird sentence, but oh well, I'm going with it.
I have a decision to make. I have a job that is contracted to end April 1st. It's possible that I will be offered an extension until the end of the school year. It's also possible I won't- I don't really care. My decision is whether I want to take an extension offer, or just end when I was planning to end and get on with life.
I'm conflicted.
If I stay until the end of June, we'll save a bunch more money. More money means more fun stuff like biking trips, gear indulgences, and a more comfortable time until whenever it is I start making money again.
If I end in April, I'll have all of April, May and most of June to ride while Gray is still in school full-time. Ride, draw, paint, sculpt, make pottery- stuff I really really want to do and need a lot of time alone. But, if I am offered the extension, I'll have to postpone that good stuff until the fall when Gray will enter kindergarten, but here it's only half time, which amounts to exacly 2 and a half hours a day. Hardly enough time to go for a decent ride or throw myself into some creative projects before I'd have to go pick him up.
I'm rambling, I know. If the former teacher decides not to come back, I feel obligated to the kids to stay- they'd have to acclimate to a new teacher who will be different and most likely lost. But, at times I'm really not happy in this position and just want out. AAah. Conflict.
Follow my bliss, screw the money and the kids will get over it
Postpone my bliss, save some money and finish out the year if it's offered and stay stressed at times.

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