Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Update # I've-given-up-keeping-track

Here's my pitiful face in the dark sonogram room. Pathetic, huh?

Another day, another series of needles thrust deeply into my boob. I had my sonogram and the doctor didn't have the wand on me 10 seconds before she was like, "Yeah, I'm definitely going to biopsy that". She thinks it's most likely a lymph node, but wants to be sure. I'm astounded that between a sonogram, a mammogram and an MRI with contrast that we can't tell the difference between a tumor and a lymph node. WTF?! So, like a champ this time, I took it in stride. I'm so accustomed to bad news and needles that I already knew to expect it. I had the same nurse as last time, Marg. She told me I was doing much better than last- I told her I was over it. Over being upset about this whole thing- I'm numb to the shock of it all, or it's possible I've just really dealt with it. I feel peaceful, no matter what. Living is what happens in between all these appointments, so I might as well just get on and do it. I told Marg she was the nicest nurse I never wanted to see again.

So, arm up behind my head, the biopsy began. I instructed everyone (4 total people in this teeny tiny room) to not discuss needles with me. I turned my head and felt the first needle. I'm going to stop there at describing the needle action because I hate needles and just don't want to relive it. I should know in 3-4 days whether it was really a lymph node. I have a feeling everything's going to be ok. And even if it's not, it is. I didn't even cry during the biopsy. Well, I shed one or two tears at the 3rd needle aspiration because it was especially painful, but at least I didn't go through an entire box of tissues. I saved my crying for the car ride home. I don't know, I guess I just needed to let it out, and boy did I. I didn't succeed entirely though so be warned there are some tears in the chamber.

As I am leaving to go pick up Gray at my mom's house, I get a frantic call from my mother- my sister has been taken by ambulance to Good Sam hospital. I was literally 1/2 a block from the hospital at that point so I turned around and rushed there to find her. I ended up being there about 40 minutes before she arrived- one by one the family showed up there, we all arrived before her. So funny, as Melissa's riding in the ambulance, they were attempting to start an IV on her. She instructed them to pull over on the side of the NYS Thruway to do the IV instead of bouncing all over the place. She arrived with more than one puncture in her arm so maybe it was a really bouncy ride

Long story short, Melissa had a severe, excruciating headache that came on out of nowhere. She attempted to take Advil to relieve the pain but it didn't help. Then both her arms went numb, she was unable to correctly state her birthday, and saw white lights and couldn't speak for a short while. I immediately thought TIA or like a mini stroke. She's still at Good Sam, they want her overnight for observation and an MRI, it's possible a cat scan showed something going on, or not, we don't know.

On the plus side, I did manage to find the teeny tiniest door in all of creation. Check this thing out.


chad said...

keep on keepin' on. . . that's all I've got for now, but I just want to say that I am rooting for you and your family. I'm glad that you're all there for each other.

Jenni said...

Thanks Chad!

Anonymous said...

much love and positive thoughts coming your way! Hang tough!