Saturday, January 3, 2009

Worst Resume Ever

Once, a long time ago, I was a recruiter for AT&T. I would spend my days searching resumes, receiving resumes, interviewing, and memorizing Harry Newton's Telecom Dictionary which though it sounds terribly dull (ok it is) the author has a great sense of humor and infuses much of it into his dictionary with arbitrary cultural references and amusing anecdotes.
One day, I came across the single worst resume I had ever seen. I've removed the personal information and copied the body here.

Read it thoroughly, it's worth it- my favorite part being, "Taugted children basic skills in reading , writing". Then let's see how many errors you can find. For what it's worth, I contacted the person, offered to edit their resume and send it back to them, which I did. Months later I found the identical resume still on Monster. sigh.
My problem isn't that some people can't write well, or spell. It's that someone didn't take any care to have this looked over for even the smallest of errors. OR that a professional recruiter redid the resume for them to use instead, but they chose to stick with this one. Oh well.

All typos are original.

To obtain an award winning career so that I can use my skills to the best of my ability.

EXPERIENCE: 12/2004 - 7/2006 DR.Bunn's office Melrose Park, IL

Industry: Healthcare Services
Front office receptionis
Answering telephones , sceduling appointment Billing insurance companys and resolving billing issues.

11/2005 - 3/2006 kiddie kandidis Lombard, IL

Industry: Retail

SAles associate
I had to put the finishing touches on the pitchers the photographer has taken of the children and thie family so that they can purchase.

4/2000 - 10/2002 United chamber Downers Grove, IL

Industry: Healthcare Services

Customer service representative

Answering incominig calls from policy holders ,providers ,agents and master marketing representative and advising them on claims status.Resolve billing issues, provide policy administative asistanton claim analys and communicate with all otherdepartment on behalf of the policy holder, providers and agentmastering representative.

11/1997 - 5/2001 Broadview Park Dist Broadview, IL

Industry: Education

Child care coordinator

Supervised small children ages 3-5 Taugted children basic skills in reading , writing and drawing. Maintained a safe playing enviroment for the children.

EDUCATION: 12/2005 OLympia College US-IL-Burr Ridge

Some College Coursework Completed
I graduated from olympia college with a 3.5GPA in the medical administrative Diplomia program.


Geerrry said...

I hope she didn't Taugted spelling.

rita said...

Oy vey, and then some. It's just too painful, and altogether rampant. And here comes my wretch flag:
"I contacted the person, offered to edit their resume and send it back to them, " Ahem. [There's also some controversy regarding that use of 'contacted', but MY jury's still out]. Bet you were relieved to get out of there.

Jenni said...

Ha, you should have seen how many typos I had the first time I published this!

Anonymous said...

This cannot be a real resume.. Someone posted it as a joke to see if they get any calls back. They had to!!

SiouxGeonz said...

I have to wonder if the resume was an assignment for a class, and s/he wasn't really using it to try to get a job. Could have been in a class as part of a "make yourself better" program in the corrections/rehab setting of your choice, for instance, and s/he was not in a position to really engage in the task. (I say this not in ridicule.)

I see the same kinds of things in my job, occasionally. There is a sincere disbelief that attention to detail matters.

Jenni said...

Interesting. Yes, it's so mistake-laden you can't believe it could be sincere.
I was however able to read her immediately at the phone number provided. But I see your point...

Jenni said...

REACH her! Ha! When we point the finger there's three pointing back!