UPDATE: Actually, I'm not nervous anymore. What a difference a half a day makes.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. My palms are sweating just while I type. I will be ok, I know I will be ok. I hope I come home tomorrow and write that it was all worse than I made it in my mind. In the meantime, I'm trying to stop looking at the clock and counting down in my head. I need my mind to be back in the strong place.
Then I read the Fat Cyclist's blog this morning. Basically he's a guy who started a blog to publically shame himself into weight loss, and fast forward he's a well-loved guy whose wife is dying of cancer. Breast cancer. She has taken a turn for the worse and he has been blogging of her struggle. Today's entry scared me and un-nerved me a little. I know I'm worlds away from her situation- worlds away. But she also sat in a room and heard "breast cancer" from a doctor, like me. There, connection made. So, blah, just gotta get past that...
Anyway, tomorrow I will arrive at the hospital at 9:00 AM and start the process- I'm hesitant to describe the process now, I don't want to scare myself anymore. But my purpose in writing any of this at all is to share with other women who may stumble across this blog in search of their own answers, so I want to give as much information and reassurance as I can. I'll probably write about it tomorrow.
In the meantime, let's swirl up some good karma. Tomorrow, will you do something good? Help someone, drop off food to a food bank, carry groceries for an old person (Gerry, what time should people arrive to help?)...that sort of thing...If you feel so inclinced, would you drop me a note and tell me? You can keep it personal or let me know what it is- post here or email me, that would be super to read. You don't need an account to post here, you can choose anonymous and just sign your post with your name. Or not. Or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org It would make my day.