Thursday, October 30, 2008

Countdown to Surgery

UPDATE: Actually, I'm not nervous anymore. What a difference a half a day makes.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. My palms are sweating just while I type. I will be ok, I know I will be ok. I hope I come home tomorrow and write that it was all worse than I made it in my mind. In the meantime, I'm trying to stop looking at the clock and counting down in my head. I need my mind to be back in the strong place.
Then I read the Fat Cyclist's blog this morning. Basically he's a guy who started a blog to publically shame himself into weight loss, and fast forward he's a well-loved guy whose wife is dying of cancer. Breast cancer. She has taken a turn for the worse and he has been blogging of her struggle. Today's entry scared me and un-nerved me a little. I know I'm worlds away from her situation- worlds away. But she also sat in a room and heard "breast cancer" from a doctor, like me. There, connection made. So, blah, just gotta get past that...

Anyway, tomorrow I will arrive at the hospital at 9:00 AM and start the process- I'm hesitant to describe the process now, I don't want to scare myself anymore. But my purpose in writing any of this at all is to share with other women who may stumble across this blog in search of their own answers, so I want to give as much information and reassurance as I can. I'll probably write about it tomorrow.

In the meantime, let's swirl up some good karma. Tomorrow, will you do something good? Help someone, drop off food to a food bank, carry groceries for an old person (Gerry, what time should people arrive to help?)...that sort of thing...If you feel so inclinced, would you drop me a note and tell me? You can keep it personal or let me know what it is- post here or email me, that would be super to read. You don't need an account to post here, you can choose anonymous and just sign your post with your name. Or not. Or email me at It would make my day.


rita said...

Good karma swirling. check.
Lots of JenniLove swirling. check.
Mega-bundles of white light and
healing energy coming special delivery. check.
Oh, and I'll be there to supervise the surgeon, too.

Know, as we do, that you're strong and healthy and loved and you'll keep on being just perfect. Glad you're not nervous anymore.

I've got my act of goodness lined up for the morning; it involves some people way younger than Gerry.

Jenni said...

An act involving anyone other than Gerry would necessarily mean they're younger because he is in fact the oldest person on earth.

Cyrus said...

Good luck tomorrow, Jenni!

Mike said...

Prayers to you Jenni all the way from Texas. Try to stay focused on your happy cycling place.

Anonymous said...

I gave a donation to ACIP, a charity that preserves sacred texts. You are going to be just fine, everything is going to be all right.


Jenni said...

Thank you for the prayers, thank you for the good deeds, thank you for the posts.
Now back to healing...shhhh, I'm concentrating...